Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
