Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
