come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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