I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize