with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
