I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize