Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
