that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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