tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
