i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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