somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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