i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I can't put those talents on a resume
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize