I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
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You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
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Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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