next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
