I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
