you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
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He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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