i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
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I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
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Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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