Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
