im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
