Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...

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(616): View more from Michigan

Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95

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(919): View more from North Carolina

its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table

(804): View more from Virginia

by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?

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(850): View more from Florida

One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest

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(704): View more from North Carolina

The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them

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(303): View more from Colorado

So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.

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(216): View more from Ohio

Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory

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