Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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