i may or may not be watching the land before time
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
