i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Randomize
