i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
