He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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