Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
