We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
and she was petting her beer can
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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