i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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