I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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