Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
