im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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