i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I need water and some morals
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
