I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
