i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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