you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
