i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
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