You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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