Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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