please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize