Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize