You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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