if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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