I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
