Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
