now i know why i became what i already was.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
