took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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