so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
