Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
