his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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