I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize