I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Who died my cat blue again?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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