I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
