Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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