well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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