ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
