i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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