then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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