so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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