the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
